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Love in Grad school

Level up, gang! Happy Valentine's Day!

In addition to gaining admission to your dream school and securing mind-blowing funding, there are several personal issues surrounding the graduate school experience. In honor of today’s love affairs, we asked our audience to share their story of love and heartbreak as related to grad school. Here are some entries;

“I was dating this guy who traveled abroad for his Ph.D. The plan was to get married after the first year or two and join him as his F2... I waited for 3 years, but he never came. After that terrible breakfast, it pushed me to make my own dreams a reality. I am now on my way to the US for my Ph.D.”. - Mary from Ajah

“Chima was the love of my life. Or so I thought. He traveled to the US, and we planned to eventually marry once he got settled. Even after 6 years of dating, I was still hooked on him, madly in love, I would say. Our communication was consistent, but he told me he had deleted his FB and IG pages. On this faithful day, I used my sister's account to log in to IG to run some ads. I came across his profile. His display photo at the time was a picture of a boy who was roughly two years old. I saw comments on a post congratulating and hailing him. I had to go back to check the profile to make sure it was Chima, and it was! 

This guy traveled to the US and had a child with a white woman. I kept scrolling and found out he was expecting another. I nearly killed myself.  I remember that a few months after he left Nigeria, a mutual friend mentioned that Chima was married to a pregnant wife. I burst out laughing! It could never be my guy. I called him, and his response was a burst of quick laughter followed by ‘where is the proof? They are my enemies. Fast forward to finding evidence on IG, this guy started to say he did it for me and didn’t intend to hurt me. 

4 years later, I am engaged to my actual love and ready to settle down in the same US. The lesson for me here is the fact that when a man wants to show up for you, you will not need to second-guess anything. You will know when you are somebody's love. We were in love but had a lot of issues. I realize now that I could have done better for myself and my family.   - Lily from Ibadan

“I was in a stable relationship with Ope for a year and a half before I had to travel to Europe for my masters. I set her up financially and thought we had a good thing going. A few weeks after I got here, it was one quarrel after another. That’s how I chopped breakfast. Love in the mud. I am single and not searching; European women are a different breed I am not ready to explore. ” - Ade from Abeokuta

“I got a fully-funded offer to go to the US. I am ready and excited for new beginnings, but my heart is broken at the thought of leaving my boyfriend. Everyone says he can also get an opportunity to join me later, but we know these things are not easy. I am scared. What if I see someone else I like when I get there?” - Chioma from Awka

“My friend told me this story that got me rolling my eyes. This guy and girl were dating. Just as the guy was about to travel for school, he served his babe hot breakfast, aka a break-up notice. He said, “I could not trust her to stay loyal.” Now, over a year later, he is single and desperately searching for intimacy and love. Who is to blame here, please?” - Jay from Lekki

If your partner got a study abroad opportunity, would you continue the relationship or end it? With so many uncertainties, how can one cope with the pressures of honest dating thousands of miles apart? We are suckers for love and are rooting for you if you are experiencing the harsh realities of a long-distance relationship. Light will truly be at the end of the tunnel.


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